The Augustinian Christmas Evening is always fun. Five members in turn regaled us with amusing readings. It proved to be something of a Marriott Edgar evening.
Chris Gatenby recited with gusto the well known poem “Albert and the Lion” by Marriott Edgar made famous by Stanley Holloway. Albert visits Blackpool Zoo with his parents and is eaten by a lion. The Magistrate sympathetically hoped they would have more sons. Ma says, “What waste our lives raising children to feed ruddy lions, not me!”
Michelle Stephens, ably assisted by her husband Bro Frederick, gave the first reading of a new poem by Jenny Ashby, “T’ Battle of Stamford Bridge” written in Marriott Edgar style. In it the Viking Hardrada roused his warriors with “whose up for some fighting and bling”. He chose his landing site on the basis that it had no parking fee, and the battle was “one heck of a bust up”.
Ann Hudson concluded the Marriott Edgar session with “Three Ha’Pence a Foot”. Sam wants this price for his bird’s eye maple. Noah only wants to pay a penny plus a ride in his Ark. When the flood comes, Sam ends up on top of Blackpool tower almost drowning but won’t give in. Still turning down Noah’s offer he says “The sky’s took a turn since this morning. I think it will brighten up yet”.
Ann also recited a poem by songwriters Weston and Lee in which an Angel makes the perfect “Yorkshire Pudden”.
Judy Wilson explained how she had everything she wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. This includes decent pocket money, doing whatever she liked, and friends not frightened of getting pregnant. Speaking of memory loss, she explained this was nature’s way of making older people take more exercise, looking for things misplaced.
Judy went on to talk about the new wonder drug “Hugs”. They have no preservatives, are cholesterol free and non-taxable. But be warned, they are addictive.
Prior Bro Garry Sunley quoted from a “good wife guide” in the magazine “Housekeeping Monthly” published in 1955. There were escalating gasps from half the audience as the wifely duties mounted. In short a wife should pander to her husband’s every need, never complain, and not question his judgement.
Garry also quoted from a witty and sarcastic reply from the Duke of Wellington in response to a nit picking missive from Whitehall.
Between introductions, the master of ceremonies our Scribe Bro George Parrott, regaled us with Christmas cracker style jokes. In these days of financial constraints Santa was forced to sell Prancer and Dancer. But he got no takers because they were too dear.
The evening ended with mince pies, drinks and a chat with friends.
The Prior Bro Garry Sunley thanked everyone for coming and particularly those who entertained. He wished everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
We, at the Bridlington Augustinian Society, extend that wish to you all.